Two years have passed since my last post. I have been back to campus two years ago and right now I’m occupied with my thesis in solid waste management. I have to do survey and sampling in 6 different sub-districts coincidentally during my second pregnancy.

I see this scholarship as an opportunity to spend more time with my son. Before, as civil servant, I should work from morning til afternoon, 5 days a week so, though I was persuaded by my parents in law to leave my son in his nanny’s house (my husband’s aunt), I decided to bring him with me to a new place near my campus for like one and half year until I finished all classes. It was a fun challenge and we both enjoyed it, maa shaa Allah.

Ok, back to the title of this post.We (I, my son, and an assistant) just returned yesterday from the second sampling location. We spent almost 3 weeks in two different location, pretty far from home, to measure solid waste generation. Since it’s getting near to the due date (I am 9 months pregnant now!), it’s safer to return home and postpone some samplings later.

So far, from the survey I found out that one of the causes of solid waste problem outside urban area is that people feel they don’t have much choice. Their activities generate waste but they don’t have the facility to manage it properly. Finally, they just do open burning or throw the garbage into water stream. Composting is only effective for organic waste and not all non-organic has value in solid waste market.

There are many other aspects to find out though and my thesis is still far from being finished.  May Allah ease things for me so I can finish my study soon with good result, aameen.




One night, when I held my baby in my arm, I was thinking of telling story. But I got confused because I prefer to tell him true story rather than fiction and I couldn’t rely on my memory only to remember any true story in detail. So I decided to try to collect stories from reliable sources, such as Al Qur’an and Hadith. Then, i found this story below:

Muslim :: Book 42 : Hadith 7148
Suhaib reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) thus said:

There lived a king before you and he had a (court) magician. As he (the magician) grew old, he said to the king: I have grown old, send some young boy to me so that I should teach him magic. He (the king) sent to him a young man so that he should train him (in magic).

And on his way (to the magician) he (the young man) found a monk sitting there. He (the young man) listened to his (the monk’s) talk and was impressed by it. It became his habit that on his way to the magician he met the monk and sat there and he came to the magician (late). He (the magician) beat him because of delay. He made a complaint of that to the monk and he said to him: When you feel afraid of the magician, say: Members of my family had detained me. And when you feel afraid of your family you should say: The magician had detained me.

It so happened that there came a huge beast (of prey) and it blocked the way of the people, and he (the young boy) said: I will come to know today whether the magician is superior or the monk is superior. He picked up a stone and said: O Allah, if the affair of the monk is dearer to Thee than the affair of the magician, cause death to this animal so that the people should be able to move about freely. He threw that stone towards it and killed it and the people began to move about (on the path freely).

He (the young man) then came to that monk and Informed him and the monk said: Son, today you are superior to me. Your affair has come to a stage where I find that you would be soon put to a trial, and in case you are put to a trial don’t give my clue.

That young man began to treat the blind and those suffering from leprosy and he in fact began to cure people from (all kinds) of illness. When a companion of the king who had gone blind heard about him, he came to him with numerous gifts and said: If you cure me all these things collected together here would be yours. He said: I myself do not cure anyone. It is Allah Who cures and if you affirm faith in Allah, I shall also supplicate Allah to cure you.
He affirmed his faith in Allah and Allah cured him and he came to the king and sat by his side as he used to sit before. The king said to him: Who restored your eyesight? He said: My Lord. Thereupon he said: It means that your Lord is One besides me. He said: My Lord and your Lord is Allah, so he (the king) took hold of him and tormented him till he gave a clue of that boy.

The young man was thus summoned and the king said to him: O boy, it has been conveyed to me that you have become so much proficient in your magic that you cure the blind and those suffering from leprosy and you do such and such things. Thereupon he said: I do not cure anyone; it is Allah Who cures, and he (the king) took hold of him and began to torment him. So he gave a clue of the monk.

The monk was thus summoned and it was said to him: You should turn back from your religion. He, however, refused to do so. He (ordered) for a saw to be brought (and when it was done) he (the king) placed it in the middle of his head and tore it into parts till a part fell down. Then the courtier of the king was brought and it was said to him: Turn back from your religion. And he refused to do so, and the saw was placed in the midst of his head and it was torn till a part fell down.

Then that young boy was brought and it was said to him: Turn back from your religion. He refused to do so and he was handed over to a group of his courtiers. And he ‘said to them: Take him to such and such mountain; make him climb up that mountain and when you reach its top (ask him to renounce his faith) but if he refuses to do so, then throw him (down the mountain). So they took him and made him climb up the mountain and he said: O Allah, save me from them (in any way) Thou likest and the mountain began to quake and they all fell down and that person came walking to the king. The king said to him: What has happened to your companions? He said: Allah has saved me from them.

He again handed him to some of his courtiers and said: Take him and carry him in a small boat and when you reach the middle of the ocean (ask him to renounce) his religion, but if he does not renounce his religion throw him (into the water). So they took him and he said: O Allah, save me from them and what they want to do. It was quite soon that the boat turned over and they were drowned and he came walking to the king, and the king said to him: What has happened to your companions? He said: Allah has saved me from them, and he said to the king: You cannot kill me until you do what I ask you to do. And he said: What is that? He said: You should gather people in a plain and hang me by the trunk (of a tree). Then take hold of an arrow from the quiver and say: In the name of Allah, the Lord of the worlds; then shoot an arrow and if you do that then you would be able to kill me.

So he (the king) called the people in an open plain and tied him (the boy) to the trunk of a tree, then he took hold of an arrow from his quiver and then placed the arrow in the bow and then said: In the name of Allah, the Lord of the young boy; he then shot an arrow and it bit his temple. He (the boy) placed his hands upon the temple where the arrow had bit him and he died and the people said: We affirm our faith in the Lord of this young man, we affirm our faith in the Lord of this young man, we affirm our faith in the Lord of this young man. The courtiers came to the king and it was said to him: Do you see that Allah has actually done what you aimed at averting. They (the people) have affirmed their faith in the Lord. He (the king) commanded ditches to be dug at important points in the path. When these ditches were dug, and the fire was lit in them it was said (to the people): He who would not turn back from his (boy’s) religion would be thrown in the fire or it would be said to them to jump in that. (The people courted death but did not renounce religion) till a woman came with her child and she felt hesitant in jumping into the fire and the child said to her: 0 mother, endure (this ordeal) for it is the Truth.

From some tafsir books i read that this hadith is relating to several verses in Quran, Surah Al-Burooj:

Q85:(1). By the heaven holding the Buruj. (2). And by by the Promised Day. (3). And by the Witness and by the Witnessed. (4). Cursed were the People of the Ditch. (5). Of fire fed with fuel. (6). When they sat by it. (7). And they witnessed what they were doing against the believers. (8). And they had no fault except that they believed in Allah, the Almighty, Worthy of all praise! (9). To Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth! And Allah is Witness over everything. (10). Verily, those who put into trial the believing men and believing women, and then do not turn in repentance, then they will have the torment of Hell, and they will have the punishment of the burning Fire.

Well, I think maybe this story is too heavy for my little baby but I can save it for later, until he’s old enough to understand.

Being a Mom..


I’m a mother now! Well, actually, I have been a mother for nearly 11 months and I want to write about this topic as a note for myself and, hopefully, will benefit others too.

Before, every time I heard the story of delivering baby process,I felt disturbing pain in my stomach. It sounded painful and scary. When I experienced it myself, I found out that it was more painful than I ever imagined. That time, I remembered my mother and felt amazed that she could get through it, not only once, but 5 times. Maa shaa Allah.

I think, there are phases in our life those will bring out our hidden aspects. For example, before marriage, I didn’t know I could love a man like the way I love my husband now. Similarly, after being a mom, I’ve been feeling the kind of love i had never felt. I was not a big fan of kids before because I felt that I was too serious for them. But, after having my own child, it feels like things go naturally and my heart is filled with love. I read that it’s also the work of hormone called oxytocin that plays an important role in maternal bonding. Indeed, that’s one of Allah’s ayah in His creations, maa shaa Allah.

Qur’an 35:11. And Allah did create you from dust, then from Nutfah, then He made you pairs. And no female conceives or gives birth but with His knowledge. And no aged man is granted a length of life nor is a part cut off from his life, but is in a Book. Surely, that is easy for Allah.

Qur’an 25:1. Blessed be He Who sent down (Nazzala) the criterion to His servant that he may be a warner to all nations.) (2. He to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and Who has begotten no son and for Whom there is no partner in the dominion. He has created everything, and has measured it exactly according to its due measurements

One of my activities after being a mother is breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is the best source of infant nutrition and it also strengthen the bonding between mother and child. May Allah make it easy for me to complete this term of two years suckling, aameen..

Q2:233. The mothers should suckle their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling, but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of his child. And on the (father’s) heir is incumbent the like of that (which was incumbent on the father). If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no sin on them. And if you decide on a foster suckling-mother for your children, there is no sin on you, provided you pay (the mother) what you agreed (to give her) on a reasonable basis. And fear Allah and know that Allah is All-Seer of what you do.)

Beside affection, there is fear also. What if something bad happen to my child, what if I am not able to educate him to be good Muslim, what if … I ask Allah’s protection from those things.. We are human beings with so many weakness. We don’t know the future and worrying about it will not help much. The pens have dried and what we can do now is Act, for everyone is facilitated what he/she intends to do.

Qur’an 30:40. Allah is He Who created you, then provided food for you, then will cause you to die, then He will give you life. Is there any of your partners that do anything of that Glory be to Him! And Exalted be He above all that they associate.

Wallahu a’lam.




It’s a tough topic, but I feel in need to write this after I saw various responds of Indonesian people about Legislative’s plan to make a rule about it. Some agree and others disagree about it. That disagreement is normal, but what bothers me is when those who disagree, including Muslims, ridicule it and even say there is no magic so making the rule about it is stupid and wasting time.

Magic/ Sihr is not a small matter, it’s big, and it’s even considered among major sins in Islam. There are a lot of proofs from Qur’an and Hadits about sihr. Prophet even taught us about reciting certain Qur’an verses to protect us from magic, and prophet wouldn’t teach protection against something that doesn’t even exist. So, as a Muslim, to deny about magic is like denying information about magic in Qur’an and sahih hadiths, which is unacceptable.

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “Avoid the seven great destructive sins.” The people enquire, “O Allah’s Apostle! What are they? “He said, “To join others in worship along with Allah, to practice sorcery, to kill the life which Allah has forbidden except for a just cause, (according to Islamic law), to eat up Riba (usury), to eat up an orphan’s wealth, to give back to the enemy and fleeing from the battlefield at the time of fighting, and to accuse, chaste women, who never even think of anything touching chastity and are good believers. (H.R. Bukhari)

But, to be noted, believing there is magic doesn’t necessarily mean to use or practice it, because as mentioned earlier, it’s major sin. Some responds from those who deny magic, they tend to associate those who believe as users and among those who visit fortune teller/ magician, which is not correct. It’s like when we believe Satan is there doesn’t mean we follow Satan. We believe it is there so we should be careful, stay away from it, and ask Allah’s protection from it. Magic is as ghaib (hidden) as Satan, and magic is one of Satan’s works.

Q72:6. `And verily, there were men among mankind who took shelter with the males among the Jinn, but they increased them in Rahaq (fear, terror and fright).

Narrated ‘Aisha: Some people asked the Prophet regarding the soothsayers. He said, “They are nothing.” They said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Some of their talks come true.” The Prophet said, “That word which happens to be true is what a Jinn snatches away by stealth (from the Heaven) and pours it in the ears of his friend (the foreteller) with a sound like the cackling of a hen. The soothsayers then mix with that word, one hundred lies.” (H.R. Bukhari)

So, the conclusion is, magic is there and it’s a major sin. May Allah protect us from that, aameen.

Wallahu a’lam


News (Personal)

Alhamdulillah, we got married on 26th May 2012. Please pray that it will be successful marriage, aameen



Recently I read interesting news those I want to share here. First about an Iranian woman who forgave a criminal, who had poured acid on her face damaging her face and eyes, and she cancelled her demand for retaliation. Second was about a mysterious man who left 10 million yen in public toilet as a charity for earthquake victims in Tohuku, Japan. The last was about an Indonesian public transportation (angkot) driver who was stabbed to death when he tried to help his passenger from robbery.

It’s very inspiring actions. How someone could forgive when she’s in the upper position with the power to decide whether to punish or not. How a man gave a huge charity without making himself known by anyone and how people who found the money gave it to those in charge though they had a chance to take it for themselves without being known. Also, how someone could be brave enough to help other risking his own life.

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Charity does not in any way decrease the wealth and the servant who forgives Allah adds to his respect, and the one who shows humility Allah elevates him in the estimation (of the people). (H.R. Muslim)

Perhaps, there was a time when we feel skeptical about virtue on people since we’re exposed by so many bad news on TV, internet, workplace, even at our own home.

We might have read news about a family being kicked out from a village by villagers because that family had reported organized cheating in a local elementary school. In other place, a civil servant was slandered because he had rejected to get involved in the corrupted ‘system’ against his conscience. Also, it’s not something unusual today to see people easily degraded others based on assumptions, prejudice, and some ‘proofs’ those actually could have many possibilities of explanation, but they rather to present their tendentious explanation as real facts, without any fear that they might have slandered others (it to be regretted if there’s any media using Islam’s name with such behavior). It’s like virtue is no longer appreciated, and what’s important now is whether something will give benefit to oneself/ group or not, regardless how it’s achieved.

‘Abdullah reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: It is obligatory for you to tell the truth, for truth leads to virtue and virtue leads to Paradise, and the man who continues to speak the truth and endeavours to tell the truth is eventually recorded as truthful with Allah, and beware of telling of a lie for telling of a lie leads to obscenity and obscenity leads to Hell-Fire, and the person who keeps telling lies and endeavours to tell a lie is recorded as a liar with Allah. (H.R. Muslim)

In Islam, we can find many teachings about good quality standards. Those are sincerity, righteousness, honesty, good speech, patient, gratitude, forgiveness, moderation, tolerance, justice, respect, purity, and many more. Each of them is significant and to be applied in our daily life.

Abu Dharr reported: Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) said to me: Don’t consider anything insignificant out of good things even if it is that you meet your brother with a cheerful countenance. (H.R. Muslim)

We all want to be successful in reaching our goals, but it should not be the reason to sacrifice our virtues as a Muslim. Good goal doesn’t justify bad actions. For example, we should not kill a female baby though our goal was to save her from being a prostitute in the future. We should not bomb a church in peace country though our intention was to show our support for Palestine. We should not slander a leader though our goal was to replace him with better person/ system. There are lines we should not cross.

Q17:31. Slay not your children, fearing a fall to poverty, We shall provide for them and for you. Lo! the slaying of them is great sin.

By doing things accordingly, we can represent our role as good viceroys on earth and become the peacemakers, not those who make mischief on the earth.

Wallahu a’lam




First, I would like to say Ramadhan Mubarak, taqabalallahu minna wa minkum. I hope we can do our best this Ramadhan, Ameen.

Tonight, I received message on messenger from someone who converted from Islam and became atheist.

Actually, I consider myself to be too old to deal with this, especially after I got a disease that required me to avoid conflict and debate. Well, it was years ago and now I am much better, Alhamdulillah, though I still feel slight pain sometimes. Thanks to Prophet Muhammad who had advised Muslims to treat ourselves with cupping.

Ok, back to the story. Personally, I never really understood how anyone could convert from Islam. How anyone could think that there’s no God. It sounded so irrational for me. Then, I realized that arrogance made people rejecting truth. When they insist that believers are being irrational, in my point of view, they’re the one who are loosing their ability to think rationally.

Q2: 13. And when it is said unto them: Believe as the people believe, they say: Shall we believe as the foolish believe? Are not they indeed the foolish? But they know not.

But, belief can’t be forced, indeed. It’s a matter of choice. Even Prophet was not sent to force anyone to believe. The right direction is henceforth distinct from error. Whether we follow or reject it, we’ll be the one who will bear the consequences.

This person said that if there is God, this God doesn’t deserve to be worshipped because He is careless to us and leave us puzzled and truth less. Is it true? If there’s no religion and holy book exists on this planet, then this claim probably has some point. The fact is, we have Islam, we have Al Qur’an, and we have Prophetic narrations. When we have such complete guidance, how can we be puzzled and truth less? If we reject them, it’s our own problem. But, to blame God for our own disbelief is such irrational thing to do.

We hear and see people who condemn God for the things those actually the result of their own mistakes. They blame God about poverty, disease and any other things they consider as bad. They think they’re the masters and God is the servant who should fulfill all their orders and wills. It’s an up side down logic, indeed.

They neglect God’s orders to be patient and grateful, to give charity, to help the needy, to avoid free sex outside marriage, to keep body and environment clean, to not eat dirty food, not harming own body, to be just in everything we do, etc. But, they blame God for all consequences of that disobedience. Where’s the logic?

The next thing was the claim about people follow religion just to be accepted by society and family. In the surface, it might be right. But, if we see the real fact around us, the real believers are indeed the strangers. How many people around us really consider that God sees all their actions? How many people consider cheating, lying and backbiting as bad sins? And, do you know what reaction you can get when you remind them about that? You will be considered as weird, as stranger!! Different case if you’re just a Muslim by paper, who is following the flow, agrees happily and follows blindly what others do without taking consideration at Islamic teaching. Also, we should remember that there are many people out there who were born from non-Muslim family but then decided to embrace Islam, vice versa. Society and family perhaps can influence what belief we will choose, but that’s only in the surface because true faith is from deep inside and none can force others to believe what they disbelieve.

The next thing he brought was the verse ‘Allah guides whom He wills’. This person who claimed to know everything should also know whom He wills to guide and whom not. It’s all mentioned in Qur’an. Allah knows best who deserves to be guided and who deserves to be misguided. He guides not those who disbelieve, wrong doing folks, a liar, an ingrate, prodigal, evil living folk, snare of betrayers, etc. He even seals up the heart of every arrogant. So, whom does He guide?

Q5: 16. Whereby Allah guideth him who seeketh His good pleasure unto paths of peace. He bringeth them out of darkness unto light by His decree, and guideth them unto a straight path.

Q39: 18. Who hear advice and follow the best thereof. Such are those whom Allah guideth, and such are men of understanding.

Moreover, let’s us have deeper study about Islam. You can find many people who try to discredit Islam. They bring one verse without investigating other verses relating to it. And, it’s very unwise to just follow their so called ‘rational’ argument blindly. For example, the word slave in Al Qur’an might sounds scary if it’s not followed by other explanation about how we’re encouraged to release slaves and about rights of slaves in Islam. Those explanations are not only made by scholars as it’s claimed by some people but it can be found in Al Qur’an and Hadith.

May we become among those who are guided by Allah, ameen.

Wallahu a’lam